My top-ten constantly changes (except for the first 2 songs, they have been my favourites for the last 12 years or so), but here is a list for today. I am not including any instrumentals here (sorry Fuck Buttons), just, you know, actual songs that have words.

1. Cry Baby Cry - the Beatles

2. Close to Me - the Cure

then, in no particular order (and without putting too much thought into it):
3. I'm a Man - Pulp
4. Should I Stay or Should I Go - the Clash
5. The Queen is Dead - the Smiths
6. I Never Said I was Deep - Jarvis Cocker
7. Temptation - New Order
8. Threads - Portishead
9. Fast Friends - Paul Dempsey
10. Cracked Actor - David Bowie

I know that this is all going to come across as though I am about 15 years old, but I don't even care.

I went to see Jarvis Cocker last night, with Kelly and her friend Erica (A. was meant to come instead of Erica, but the heartbreak was playing up. I'm kind of glad she wasn't there, though - I didn't need to have her next to me, checking her watch all evening).

I will just say now that it was the best night ever. To start with, I was standing outside the McDonald's near the Metro waiting for Kelly and Erica to make their way up from Chinatown. It was about 7:30pm, but still very light. People walking past in a constant stream.

And then - Jarvis Cocker walked straight fucking past me! Not 3 metres away, right along busy George St. I was too stunned to move, I just sort of stood there gawping after him, heart pounding. The footpath was quite crowded, but I only saw one other head turn to look at him.

He looks even skinnier in real life than I would have expected. But otherwise, exactly as I would have thought. Later, Kelly berated me for not trying to talk to him. But I'm glad that I didn't. I'm useless like that. What do I have to say to him that he wouldn't have heard a million times before? And what could I say to him (or anyone else in the world, for that matter) that wouldn't make me sound like a complete idiot? In any case, my favourite thing in life (much of the time) is when other people leave me alone. Why should I think that he would appreciate me barging into his existence, when he's just trying to take a simple walk.

Anyway, we ended up right in front of the stage, pushed up against the barricade. I had been doubting whether or not this was such a good idea, but in the end I am SO GLAD that we went in early and got those spots.

Jarvis Cocker reminds me of nothing so much as a geology lecturer, in the way that he dresses at the moment. Or, as A. said, an angry librarian (but she says that about anyone with black plastic glasses and messy hair - she calls me that too). Gotta love that navy blue corduroy. He was also wearing a black knitted tie <3.

I wished that the show would never end. His patter between songs was probably the best that I have ever witnessed, and I was very impressed by the performance. And his ridiculous dancing - how could I not love him for it? To steal Kelly's words, his 'smooth moves' (quotation marks necessary there) are half the reason why any of us ever bothered to watch that Pulp dvd.

AND - he shook my hand! Right at the end (well, the 'first' end, before the encores), during 'You're in my Eyes (Discosong)', I think it was. He touched the hands of a few other people in the front row, including Kelly, who was next to me but slightly closer to the centre of the stage. He was about to turn to walk back towards the other side of the stage, but I reached my hand out towards him. He hesitated for a split second, I nearly drew my hand back in embarassment. But then he reached out again, and shook my hand briefly.

I know that it is a tiny, meaningless incident. But I was grinning like mad for the rest of the night (and still am now). I feel like it was quite characteristic of a lot of my social interactions (all hesitation and discouragement), except that it went slightly better than usual >_<.

To top it all off, I had been hoping that the last song that they played would be 'Running the World'. And it was!

ok, ok, enough of this embarrassing blathering for now. I will finish by saying that despite my low opinion of the institution of marriage, and the fact that I generally like women, I feel as though I could marry that man. I am so glad that I arranged for a day off work today - I was so childishly excited after that handshake that I could not sleep last night. I then woke up at 8am and couldn't get back to sleep. The first thing I did was walk to the cornershop and buy a massive can of energy drink.. a move that I think I will probably regret, but what can I say? I feel like I'm on fire right now.

A news story about bikie gang members complaining about police closing pubs along the route of their protest against South Australia's new anti-motorcycle gang laws got more airtime than the marriage equality rallies that were held around the country today.

I shouldn't be surprised, but I am definitely annoyed. Sensationalism always seems to win over actual social justice issues.

In any case, I'm glad that I went to Sydney's marriage equality rally. I can't quite bring myself to believe that this country is ready for same sex marriage (I think that I have met more people with a 1950s mindset towards these issues than many other Sydneysiders have... living in the city can make people forget that not all of the world is a progressive as they might fancy themselves to be), but there's nothing like a rally to re-inspire me to keep working to try to convince the government to change the law.

I feel odd about it sometimes - I don't even want marriage for myself. Marriage is something that I will never, EVER enter into. I just don't think that it is the government's place to make that decision for me.

Down at the main part of the hospital today, I was wandering around doing my usual errands when I noticed a makeshift sign stickytaped to a door. I don't even know what the door was (I am still recovering from a horrendous week-long illness, let's say that my mind is floating around a little more freely than usual). Maybe it was a fire escape? Anyway, the sign said 'THIS AREA IS ALARMED'.

I'm not even sure why I was looking so closely at the stupid thing, but a moment later some fainter words next to the bold text swam into focus. Some bright spark had written 'and so am I' in biro next to the main text.

It was so trite and predictable, but it made me laugh: if my dad was prone to acts of minor vandalism, this is exactly what he would have written, only in slightly agitated-looking copperplate. I can't remember ever wishing that my father would randomly show up at my work before, but I kind of did at that moment.


Also, should I be scared that the wierd 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine' post office manager recognises my mail? When I walked up to the counter today, he didn't recognise my face. But as soon as I handed over the letter I wanted to post, he said 'Oh, so you are this girl! More letters already??'

I am probably asking for it though. The letter that I posted was in an 'envelope' made out of a glossy, mostly black magazine page, held together with stickytape decorated with anthropomorphic school buses.

I was born during a dust storm, and, having grown up in an almost permanently drought-ridden rural area, the smell of dry earth is not unfamiliar to me.

But I've never seen anything like this before.

I wanted to take some photos while the place still looked so weird, but the windows of my flat stare directly into the walls of the neighbouring buildings. Also, at 7:30 in the morning I was still only in my underwear, and preferred to go back to bed for an extra 10 minutes of sleep, forget about getting dressed and going outside to take pictures!

Here are some that other people took: http://www.smh.com.au/environment/sydney-turns-red-dust-storm-blankets-city-20090923-g0so.html

The 5th of October is going to be a big day for me.

As well as Air's 'Love 2', Fuck Buttons have a new album called 'Tarot Sport' coming out on the same day.

At least, I think they do. Reports seem mixed. But I'm hoping. As well as releasing it on CD, it's coming out as a double album on vinyl. I know that I'm being a snob, and that I possibly can't really afford the vinyl, but I AM SORELY TEMPTED.
 

Part of me feels a little depressed at how this is the most positive news in my life at the moment. But I'll try to run with any positive emotion that I can right now.
 

So... ^-^.

 

Well, I know that a few of you who may be reading this are waiting on mail from me. I thought that I should let you know that it may take me a while to get anything sent out.

Things are not fantastic at the moment... A. and I are having some major problems. I'm feeling drained by the way that things are panning out, and all projects/activities are more or less on hold. I just don't feel motivated to do much. But I will try to work up the energy to do some writing and get stuff in the post soon.
 

On a brighter note, I did get out of the house today. I think it did me a lot of good, even if all I did was go around to Mel's and listen to a whole lot of her odd psychedelic records (Strawberry Alarm Clock, Ultimate Spinach, the Electric Prunes, etc etc.) while getting dizzy on her second hand smoke. I did manage to convince her to put on Tubeway Army, but she could not sit through more than 4 songs. I didn't push the issue though. Then she decided to introduce me to Silver Apples. I was intrigued, although I think they would sound much better if their tracks were instrumental - I find their lyrics boring and their voices tuneless. Still, their music is incredible, considering that it came from the 60s, and I LOVE the fact that one of their primary instruments is a synthesiser that they created themselves.

Plus she has a record with 'You Know My Name (Look up the Number)' on it. I had totally forgotten how much I like this stupid song.

Also, last night I went to see Paul Dempsey. Not the most exciting music, I know, but I loved it. I always love seeing him play. One of the support acts was called Parrallel Lines, which I think would be a perfect name for a Blondie tribute band. Which (unfortunately?) they are not. Although their keyboardist/lead guitarist does have the skinny black tie for the part.

Actually, it was a strange evening for me, and seeing the various guys on stage made me wish that my chest was flatter, so that mens' shirts would fit me better. That, and that one of the bartenders looked kind of like a male version of me. Very odd. Still, Dempsey et al. did play a cover of 'See No Evil' by Television. It was a moment that made my night, and put all the other stupid over-thinking stuff to rest, at least temporarily.